Mother’s Day, Unfiltered: What Moms Told Us They Really Want
We Asked. You Answered. This Is the Real Gift Guide
When we asked our Mothers Haven community what everyone really wanted for Mother’s Day in a recent Instagram poll, the answers came in fast—and honestly, they were staggeringly consistent.
More than anything, moms want to feel cared for. Not with a wrapped-up gift, but with the kind of thoughtful, behind-the-scenes support they give everyone else all year long.
Yes, a thoughtful, tangible gift is of course *always* welcome. A new mug? Sure! But most of us would happily trade it for a cup of coffee we didn’t have to reheat—sipped in silence, in our favorite old mug, with a half hour to ourselves.
The message was clear: moms don’t want more stuff. We want less doing. Less planning. Less pressure. We’re carrying so much already—what we’re all really asking for is a bit of ease.
When Mother’s Day rolls around, instead of just feeling celebrated, what we want most is to feel supported. And the difference here really is important.
Below, we’re sharing the top themes from what you told us—and how to actually make them happen.
What Moms Really Want for Mother’s Day
If this list looks short, that’s because every answer fell into one of these categories. No outliers. Seriously—you’d think you were all sitting in a circle at one of our new mom classes in Rhode Island, nodding along and sending in the same message.
The resounding theme? Moms are craving rest, ease, and a break from decision-making. A slow morning with zero agenda? Yes, please. A clean house that got that way without our help? Honestly, that might be the dream. A day with a few simple, doable plans that we didn’t have to organize? If you felt that in your soul, same.
We asked, you answered. Here are the responses we got from our Mothers Haven community:
- A break from decision-making—big and small
To not have to make a single decision or plan, not to make the plans but they’re still fun and doable, to not have to think or plan or do, to not have to make a plan.
We’re starting here because this was the top response. The message? Moms are feeling overwhelmed by being the ones who figure it all out all the time.
Decision fatigue is real. And it makes sense—many moms carry the mental load by default. Planning meals, organizing schedules, remembering birthdays, managing routines. When Mother’s Day rolls around, what so many of us want most is one day where we’re not the one making it all happen.
Ways to make that a Mother’s Day reality:
- Be clear and upfront—say: “I don’t want anything fancy. I just want a realistic day where I’m not the one coordinating, texting, or booking.”
- Hand off the plans: ask your partner or loved one to take the lead without asking you a million follow-ups.
- Offer a few easy options ahead of time if that helps (like “bagels and a walk” or “a simple lunch out”), then say: surprise me.
- Don’t be afraid to write it down, send a voice note, or even create a little Mother’s Day wishlist, because as much as we wish they could, our partners can’t read our minds.
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And most importantly? Give yourself permission to not plan your own celebration. You deserve a day where someone else makes the magic happen.
- Solo time
Solo time, alone time, time to myself, the day off.
We saw these words over and over again in your responses—and we get it. The craving for space to just be alone, even for a little while, is so real. You can love your people deeply and still want time to reconnect with yourself.
So how can this happen?
If it feels tricky, then ask for an hour, not a whole day. A walk by yourself. A solo coffee run. A bath with no interruptions. Even just sitting outside with the sun on your face in silence. Tag in a partner, friend, or family member to help with the kids. You deserve it and it’s amazing what some one on one time with yourself can do for the mama soul.
- Time to rest
Sleep, sleeping in, a nap, time to rest, relax.
The theme here? We’re tired. Like, really tired. (Duh.)
Whether it’s a morning to sleep in, a midday nap, or just laying down with zero responsibilities for an hour, it’s one of the most generous gifts you can give a mom. Pro tip if you’re offering this to another mom in your life: don’t make her ask. Just plan for it and let her know you’ve got things covered.
- A clean house
A clean house, a house that I didn’t have to clean, a full house cleaning, a day off of chores but they still get done.
Different wording, same message—and wow, did this one come up a lot.
Having a family means more everything: more mess, more laundry, more dishes… and yes, more love. But it also means the house never really stays clean on its own. So the idea of someone else handling it? That’s a 10/10 Mother’s Day present.
How can this look in real life?
It could be hiring a cleaner as a gift (even just once!). It could be your partner taking over the weekend cleaning list. Bottom line: you deserve a clean space without being the one who makes it happen for once.
- No cooking
To not have to make a single meal, a day off of cooking, no cooking
Lots of repeats for this. And we feel it deep in our bones. A break from the constant cycle of planning, prepping, feeding, and cleaning? Say less, we’re in.
Ways to make this happen on Mother’s Day:
- Ask for meals to be made for you—and better yet, make one of them your favorite.
- Have groceries delivered ahead of time and hand off the reins.
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Mix it up with a combo of takeout, home cooked meals, or a reservation you didn’t have to book.
- Sweet, simple gestures or gifts
A little present, flowers, a sweet treat, crafts from my kids.
We found it so telling that the only tangible things mentioned in your responses were small, thoughtful items. Nothing over the top—just something sweet and simple, especially when paired with a little care or time to yourself.
Here are a few thoughtful combos to consider—whether you’re dropping a hint or gifting to a mom in your life:
- A self-care gift + uninterrupted time for a bath
- Flowers + a quiet afternoon alone
- Favorite chocolate or candy + dinner out (reservations made, diaper bag packed—not by you)
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A handmade card or kid-crafted gift + coffee and a pastry in bed (enjoyed solo)
- Massage
Massage.
Yep—just that one word came through loud and clear in several responses. And almost every time, it was paired with something else: “massage and rest,” “massage and a clean house,” “massage and alone time.”
Once again, proving the point: moms are craving care in the form of actions that ease the day, with a little extra sprinkled in.
Want to make it happen?
Book a massage at a spot you love, look into where the mom in your life likes to go, or do a little research for a great local option. It’s a thoughtful, tangible gift that feels like a true exhale.
Don’t Be Afraid to Say What You Really Want
We know it’s not always easy to ask for help or spell out what you need—but this is your reminder that you deserve to. Wanting rest, space, and support makes you human.
So go ahead: make the list, send the text, type it in the Notes app. Let the people in your life show up for you in the ways that actually feel good.
And remember—caring for yourself and voicing your needs isn’t just for Mother’s Day. You deserve that kind of support all year long.
If you're looking for mom groups in Rhode Island, new mom help, or breastfeeding support from a trusted lactation consultant in Rhode Island—you know where to find us.
We’re cheering for you this Mother’s Day (and every day).
P.S. May is Maternal Mental Health Month
As we talk about what moms really want this Mother’s Day, it’s important to also talk about how they’re really feeling. May is Maternal Mental Health Month—a time to raise awareness, break the stigma, and remind every mom that her mental and emotional well-being matters.
Motherhood is beautiful, but it’s also hard. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, or just not like yourself, you are not alone—and you deserve support. Let this be your reminder to check in on yourself and on the moms around you. A healthier, happier motherhood starts with support — especially for you.
Our DMs are always open—whether you're reaching out with a concern for yourself or a friend. We’re here, we see you, and we genuinely want to help take the load off and make motherhood just a bit easier.